Theme Week 7

They call her 'Momma'. They meaning everyone I have ever met that knows her. It's weird, it's not really an enduring title, though she is loved by many. It's more of a title of respect. The kind of momma you are intimidated by but drawn to at the same time. Or maybe it is an all-knowing type of vibe that defines her. A motherly wisdom. Regardless of why, the name fits.
She is the absolute only person I know that can pull of a muumuu. I mean, I've see people on tv and such do it, but they usually have rockin bodies and personality doesnt matter. But her 50 year old body is definitely not rockin, its her that pulls it off, her being. Her chi if you will. She even embellishes with a wrist full of bangles and the scent of pachuli. I don't think I have ever seen her wear make-up, or do her hair, but she always have time to put on some pachuli. Or maybe it's her natural scent, it wouldn't surprise me if thats what her sweat glands produced instead of the foul odor of most.
Everytime I enter Momma's house, it smells of a different food. But it's not like when you go to a food court, and all the smells of different restaurants meld together into a gross blend of chinamexamerican. It's always wonderful. I step out of the car and it's like the cartoons when you see the smell in a whistful cloud above the characters head. Then they start floating along following it to it's origin. And there it is, a pie sitting on a windowsill. She does have a family of five, so cooking is a must, but the amounts of food this woman makes could feed an army. And she does. I have never been to her house without at least five other guests there at the same time, and she feeds them all like it's her job. An obligation to eliminate hunger across the entire town. But she does that job sooo well.
My favorite thing about momma is that she doesn't care what anyone thinks of her and she isn't afraid to speak her mind. Now, I have heard many people claim to possess these characteristics, but none like her. She is the type of person who you can hear, at the grocery store, three isles over dropping f bombs and laughing hysterically. You can just picture her hands waiving in a frenzy of excitement as she talks to someone she probably just met, like she's known them for years.
One time, I was a freshman and she came into our high school with a tray full of candies. She gave me two or three then said, 'Oh, I'de better get these fuckers to the office'. It turns out, they were filled with alcohol. As I walked away, I felt the booze warm my belly and heard her cussing up a storm in the school office, rehashing the latest drama with the secretaries. To be honest, as a freshman in high school I did think that underaged drinking was pretty bad ass. But that is not what made this act so great. It wasn't her swearing in a school, or feeding teachers alcohol (which perhaps explained some of my narrow escapes with the principle). It was the fact that if anyone else tried the same business, they would be kicked out with no remorse. But Momma, she can do anything, say anything. As long as it is followed by her hysterical laugh, nobody would think twice. They would just laugh along side her, pretend they were 'in' and not actually terrified of her, and she would walts right back out. She's like a tornado. A tornado of gossip, innapropriateness, and patchuli.